As I walked down Etruria Road this afternoon, after another great meeting concerning Cultural Squatters, as the early spring sun glistened off the remaining patches of the almost unseasonal snow, warming me so much I had to remove my faux fur coat, I announced to my little bubble in the universe that I was truly in love with my life. Moments aside (and there have been many spectacular ones, I assure you), I havent felt so entirely sure I was doing the right thing since all my children were smaller and I was parenting my little brood full time. As you get to know me you will learn that I am very free with my emotions: if I love you I will tell you and I will mean it, if somehing you have done has upset me I will tell you, as I cannot abide lies and fakery. I expect similarly honest responses from people, though often don’t get them, but that’s ok too as I am also a pretty chill woman (just don't eat with your mouth open around me or I shall lay upon you a death stare which would make Medusa herself feel uncomfortable). I also cry much more often through happiness than sadness. During that quietly joyous walk into town, at the moment I whispered my love for life to the air that surrounded me, a song which means much to me, already, popped up on shuffle and for three minutes and eight seconds I assure you that I was the most invincible woman alive.
https://youtu.be/qybUFnY7Y8w
It was a nice moment.
If anyone reading this is wavering over the decision to take a risk and go it alone, careerwise, or if you have always fancied setting up a community group but feared nobody’d engage, or know you have at least one college course or degree in you but there’s never a good time to start - I swear you should just do it. I hate to sound cliched but cliches exist for a reason - we are dead a long time. Life is fleeting. Bad shit happens to people every day. You have to be ‘carpin all them diems’ if you want to rekindle your own love affair with life. And hey, if you are already there, nice one brother/sister, it’s a beautiful feeling, right? So if you have lost your lust for life, I urge you to take a chance on yourself and go for it. I will take being skint a while longer because I know that Cultural Squatters has a value greater than any amount of money, and knowing I am at least trying to unite my community in a creative, fun, kind space is both incentive and reward for me, as long as I generate enough money from the enterprise to make rent and look after my family. Of course I’d maybe not be so cavalier in attitude if I didn’t truly believe that Cultural Squatters will be a success. I am already in talks with Mike about franchises, brands, apprenticeship schemes, and consultancy work. I already have another shopping precinct picked out, on hold in my mind, to be the next source of day dreams when I next have time to day dream. Cultural Squatters.2. What an adventure life has become again. Obviously, as much as a dreamer as I am, I am also a steadfast realist (though rarely pessimistic) and I am fully aware that there is a possibility that CS may go arse up, despite all our hard work and dedication. I don’t think it will or Id not be investing so much energy and love, as well as my time and the time of people who I love, my friends; applying the kindness of strangers and securing funding where we can.
All the in love with life stuff is not to say two nights ago I wasnt crying helplessly into my pillow, but those tears don’t detract from the hushed contentment I feel from the moment I wake up, to the moment I nod off at night. I really feel life. Always have, even when it was mostly grim (we all feel it then! It’s easy to take the chill, good times for granted). I am really aware of how hard life can fuck you sometimes, and that to never let that roughness make you bitter. I dont believe in anything other than love and knowing death awaits me. That drives me to live the absolute best life I can with what is available to me. Several of my dear friends have lost beloved family members, all within a short time, and it seems unnecessarily cruel that life should dump so hard on so many good folk, and though the sadness I feel for my friend’s losses is geniune, even death cannot detract from the over all positivity I take from such sad tidings - if anything will make me live hard, it is knowing at any point it could be game over for any one of us without notice. Carpin all them diems, see. I’ve wrestled with mental health, years ago was diagnosed with PTSD due to two incredibly violent relationships. I took all the therapy and support that was available to me, as I struggled to function on a level I wanted to. I worked really hard at getting better as there was no way I was going to be a victim, or have my past define my present. I have flirted with depression but I am grateful mine was related to events, so was more managable than for others. I had a big dip last year when i was writing my MA, and the final result I received reflected my emotional well being (I missed out on a distinction which I could have easily acheived) , but again I pushed on, though for days I’d be lost in my head. Basically I’m trying to give you and idea that my rekindled, quiet happiness is something which I knew awaited me but that I worked really bloody hard to reconnect with. We are of our lives up to the present time. I refuse to allow the less good stuff to determine my path, and who I am. I just needed to regroup after a shitty period where knock after knock seemed almost too hard to get back up from. I’m proof that love and kindness can fix someone. I was shown massses of love, patience and kindness by my family and friends. I am in a position to give back now, and I chose Cultural Squatters as my way of showing everyone who loved me at my most vulnerable, that their love and kindness was well placed and that their love is still within me, and will be shared with many others, now. We are all just big gooey sacks of energy. What we give out we can store and share, whether it is positive or negative. I am sharing my love, kindness and passion with everyone who walks through CS doors, or gets involved in some way. CS is basically a big thank you to everyone who helped me. I am trying to honour their kind actions with my own. Let’s see where we end up!
Next week I am rallying the volunteers. I am working alongside VAST (inc. Vintage Volunteers), YMCA, Appetite Stoke and SCYVS, as well as Stoke On Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme Councils, plus individuals, to source our crew. Hugely important to the whole ethos of Cultural Squatters, is to provide top-end work experience and social time, to all our volunteers, to assist them on their own journey in finding their version of what I found. From a practical perspective we shall provide good quality, varied, accredited (in some instances) work experience and training for those seeking work, or returning to work after an absence for whatever reason. If making new friends and keeping busy is something that appeals, again, we can offer that, in a unique setting where inclusivity is the core value, and to #bekind is the only rule. I have volunteered in various capacities for nearly 15 years, and I continue to so so, too. It was through volunteering I started on the path of SEN education, and youth work, which ultimately, via all the twists, turns, seeming dead ends and rough tracks of life, has led me here. This isn't the end of my career path, but I must say I do feel like all the hard work will pay off through Cultural Squatters.
Keep an eye out on here or on CS instagram account @culturalsquatters, or on twitter culturalsquatters @narinastead666 for more details. Very soon we will have a website to which we can refer any enquiries, and to base ourselves online. But we cant do everything at once so for now we just have me juggling things on social media and my wee blog, here.
Thanks for your patience! Speak soon, mmmmmwahhhh 💋
#bekind
https://youtu.be/qybUFnY7Y8w
It was a nice moment.
All the in love with life stuff is not to say two nights ago I wasnt crying helplessly into my pillow, but those tears don’t detract from the hushed contentment I feel from the moment I wake up, to the moment I nod off at night. I really feel life. Always have, even when it was mostly grim (we all feel it then! It’s easy to take the chill, good times for granted). I am really aware of how hard life can fuck you sometimes, and that to never let that roughness make you bitter. I dont believe in anything other than love and knowing death awaits me. That drives me to live the absolute best life I can with what is available to me. Several of my dear friends have lost beloved family members, all within a short time, and it seems unnecessarily cruel that life should dump so hard on so many good folk, and though the sadness I feel for my friend’s losses is geniune, even death cannot detract from the over all positivity I take from such sad tidings - if anything will make me live hard, it is knowing at any point it could be game over for any one of us without notice. Carpin all them diems, see. I’ve wrestled with mental health, years ago was diagnosed with PTSD due to two incredibly violent relationships. I took all the therapy and support that was available to me, as I struggled to function on a level I wanted to. I worked really hard at getting better as there was no way I was going to be a victim, or have my past define my present. I have flirted with depression but I am grateful mine was related to events, so was more managable than for others. I had a big dip last year when i was writing my MA, and the final result I received reflected my emotional well being (I missed out on a distinction which I could have easily acheived) , but again I pushed on, though for days I’d be lost in my head. Basically I’m trying to give you and idea that my rekindled, quiet happiness is something which I knew awaited me but that I worked really bloody hard to reconnect with. We are of our lives up to the present time. I refuse to allow the less good stuff to determine my path, and who I am. I just needed to regroup after a shitty period where knock after knock seemed almost too hard to get back up from. I’m proof that love and kindness can fix someone. I was shown massses of love, patience and kindness by my family and friends. I am in a position to give back now, and I chose Cultural Squatters as my way of showing everyone who loved me at my most vulnerable, that their love and kindness was well placed and that their love is still within me, and will be shared with many others, now. We are all just big gooey sacks of energy. What we give out we can store and share, whether it is positive or negative. I am sharing my love, kindness and passion with everyone who walks through CS doors, or gets involved in some way. CS is basically a big thank you to everyone who helped me. I am trying to honour their kind actions with my own. Let’s see where we end up!
Next week I am rallying the volunteers. I am working alongside VAST (inc. Vintage Volunteers), YMCA, Appetite Stoke and SCYVS, as well as Stoke On Trent and Newcastle-under-Lyme Councils, plus individuals, to source our crew. Hugely important to the whole ethos of Cultural Squatters, is to provide top-end work experience and social time, to all our volunteers, to assist them on their own journey in finding their version of what I found. From a practical perspective we shall provide good quality, varied, accredited (in some instances) work experience and training for those seeking work, or returning to work after an absence for whatever reason. If making new friends and keeping busy is something that appeals, again, we can offer that, in a unique setting where inclusivity is the core value, and to #bekind is the only rule. I have volunteered in various capacities for nearly 15 years, and I continue to so so, too. It was through volunteering I started on the path of SEN education, and youth work, which ultimately, via all the twists, turns, seeming dead ends and rough tracks of life, has led me here. This isn't the end of my career path, but I must say I do feel like all the hard work will pay off through Cultural Squatters.
Keep an eye out on here or on CS instagram account @culturalsquatters, or on twitter culturalsquatters @narinastead666 for more details. Very soon we will have a website to which we can refer any enquiries, and to base ourselves online. But we cant do everything at once so for now we just have me juggling things on social media and my wee blog, here.
Thanks for your patience! Speak soon, mmmmmwahhhh 💋
#bekind
So proud of you Mrs xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Helle. Love you lots x
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